My parents call me Chochee-pan. (Chochee pronounced with the soft shhhhh.) They say I'm like the other Pan, never wanting to grow up. I guess I can say that's true. I've always been so happy embracing my "lost boy" and seeing the world through a child's eyes, with wonder and joy. But this weekend that mentality was tested in the most difficult way. An opportunity presented itself for me to take on a full-time youth musical director's position. Kids and the arts are two of the things I've always been most passionate about. Our world is facing so much turmoil and uncertainty, why not educate our children well and allow them to express and flourish in a creative way? In fact, I've had aspirations to start my own youth musical company eventually. So when I was asked if I would be interested, of course I said YES! and that I'd do some thinking and give an answer asap. Then I started to think about how far I have come, how hard I have worked in the past 18 months. I've built a resume, and a good rapport with multiple people and multiple companies, so is it really in my best interest to put that all on hold and go play for a year??? no.... no, it's not. :( Of course I then had reservations about the path I've chosen. Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? I'm I going the wrong way? Was this the road sign telling me to go back to what makes me happiest? Alas, over-reacting is something I am still learning to harness. ;) So I'm choosing to remain with my nose to the grind stone, buckling down, and being (gasp!) a grown-up. It wasn't an easy decision, but I know it's the right one.... *le sigh* I'll just have to gaze at the second star to the right from afar....
